Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize