pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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