I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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