omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize