my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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