When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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