so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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