you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
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