my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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