I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize