you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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