Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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