she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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