you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
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i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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