my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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