So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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