I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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