Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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