we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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