there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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