hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Boobs are out for the taking
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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