Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize