Betty ford says i'm here all night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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