if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need water and some morals
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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