grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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