you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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