I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
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IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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