this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize