he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize