so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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