i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize