Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A+ Viking dick
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize