I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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