if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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