i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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