You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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