Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dicks are not precious.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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