This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize