we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize