Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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