yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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