I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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