of course. lets lasso hookers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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