i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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