His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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