I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
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i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
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She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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