Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We have so much sex to catch up on
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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