Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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