At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize