so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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